Back to the beginning

So here I am again. Back in the world of temperature taking. Back in the land of being anxious first thing in the morning because I wonder what I'll see on the thermometer.

And the funny part? It's only CD14.

Yes, we're trying for a second baby. And true to form, I've managed to get myself completely crazy over it.

The questions swirling around in my head right now?
1. Will I actually ovulate this first cycle after going off the Pill? And will it be in a relatively timely fashion? If history is any indication of the future, yes, I will. But what if things go all wonky again?
2. How long do I wait before I say "uncle" and call the infertility doc and ask for some good ol' Femara?
3. And if I do take the Femara, am I really that comfortable with it? Last time I took it, we conceived a baby with no kidneys. And do I really believe the peri who says that the two things are completely unrelated?

Goodness. I didn't anticipate I'd be a basket case even before things got interesting.

And then...there's the fantasy. That God would grant us one good cycle after the Pill, and we'd get pregnant right away. Problem is, I'm staking a lot of hope in that fantasy. The higher you reach, the harder you fall.

And this, my friends, is why I find myself, once again, in IF blogland. Because you are the only ones who truly understand all this mess of crazy.