5w1d

It's amazing how much you can forget in four years.

For example, I completely forgot about the fact that after you get a positive pregnancy test (and good betas), it's another waiting game. Of course it's a waiting game--I mean, isn't that the whole point of pregnancy? I don't know whether I was expecting fireworks or something, but I'm finding myself incredibly, incredibly impatient. Four years ago, I was mired in grief over Zach when I first got pregnant with Tyler, so I was perfectly fine with pretending I wasn't pregnant. This time, I am literally counting the days until our heartbeat ultrasound (it's 13 now).

Yes, part of it is wanting to make sure the baby is OK. But another part of it is wanting to tell the world.

Well, most of the world. My friend just confided in me in an e-mail last night that she has been trying since September, and is getting frustrated. She wants to talk to me because I, presumably, am still in the trenches, just like her. When we get together next week, I'm going to have to be very careful with what I say. It is certainly not the right time to tell her I'm pregnant, but I don't want to outright lie, either.

Then there's this other, nagging little thing: Besides lots of "stretching" feelings in my uterus (when Tyler pounces on me, I have to gasp), I haven't had any symptoms. No nausea, no exhaustion. I feel perfectly, absolutely fine. One part of me knows that every pregnancy is different, but the negative part of me says, "If you aren't tired by now, does this mean there's something wrong with the baby?"

Gotta love the old crazy coming back...

The results are in

And so it is that on a cold, snowy January morning, I have a positive pee stick sitting in my bathroom wastebasket.

Yep, I'm pregnant. For now, at least.

That's all I have to say about that.

IUI #1

On Tuesday, I took an OPK test and got a negative. After getting a positive on Wednesday (CD 16, for what it's worth), I called the clinic and set up an appt. for an IUI Thursday morning. Then, Wednesday night at about 10:30 p.m., I started experiencing enough cramping that I had to take an Advil. Sure enough, when I took my temp Thursday morning, it was just high enough to make me wonder whether I had already ovulated.

See, I had elected not to do an u/s this first time, because OPKs have been working so well for me. But I was so paranoid I requested an u/s before my IUI at 10:45 a.m. on Thursday. I was right--I had already ovulated. The doctor told me the IUI could still work 12-24 hours after I ovulated, and I was at 12 1/2 hours, so I went ahead with it. After all, a 102 million sperm count is nothing to scoff at! But I have to laugh at the fact that my first $1300 IUI may very well be a bust because I was too late. It figures.