I could write about how frustrating it is that Tyler has changed up his routine in the past week (a growth spurt perhaps?), or how he spits up so much we've had to find more bibs and burp cloths, or about how my aches and pains are getting worse, but really, that's all just par for the course. The truth is that at this moment, I'm just insanely happy, and for the first time in a long time complaining just really isn't on the agenda.
I'm preparing to start my freelance career in January, and already I have several gigs lined up. It's funny, because a few of them are with the health system I have worked for! I'm realizing that my biggest problem with my new part-time career will not be finding enough work, but finding enough time for the work that comes my way. That's a great problem to have.
I went to a baby group last week and I got asked out! No, not by a potential mate, of course, but by a much more difficult thing to find--a potential friend. The woman, C, has a 6-month-old and probably lives about 20 minutes from my house. I know this sounds silly, but this is exactly what I have been waiting for for a long time--making friends with other stay-at-home moms I meet at baby groups. It's a dream come true! And the best part is, I didn't even have to make the first move. We exchanged phone numbers and agreed to get together after the holidays. (Of course, I'm going to have to figure out how to balance work and play dates.)
This Christmas is just so much better than last Christmas. It's nice that the biggest issue on my mind right now is the incredible amount of snow that's been falling in the Midwest.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Priorities
I had this grand plan to go to a free mommy and me yoga class this morning at a maternity store about 20-25 minutes from my house.
Tyler woke up for his first feeding of the day at about 7:45 a.m. This is perfect, I thought. Hopefully, he'll sleep till at least 10:30, I can pile him in the car seat, he'll sleep in the car on the way over, then I can feed him again at the store while we wait for the class to start.
Except. Just as I was blow drying my hair and preparing to pack the diaper bag at about 10:20, I heard a cry. Tyler was awake and hungry. That's OK, I told myself as I quickly prepared the bottle, I can still feed him, leave home by 11 a.m. and make it in time for the class. He just might be a little crankier after getting a catnap in the car.
As I tried my best to encourage him to take the bottle quickly (note: nothing can encourage a baby to eat more quickly if he wants to take his good old time about it), I watched the clock and became more and more stressed. We were going to be late, and it was only an hour-long class!
Then I looked at my son as he took a little break from his feeding. He looked relaxed, and happy, and perfectly content lying down in Mommy's lap.
This is what I have been waiting for for so long.
To hell with yoga, and stress, and schedules.
This is our time, and nothing will take that away from us.
Tyler woke up for his first feeding of the day at about 7:45 a.m. This is perfect, I thought. Hopefully, he'll sleep till at least 10:30, I can pile him in the car seat, he'll sleep in the car on the way over, then I can feed him again at the store while we wait for the class to start.
Except. Just as I was blow drying my hair and preparing to pack the diaper bag at about 10:20, I heard a cry. Tyler was awake and hungry. That's OK, I told myself as I quickly prepared the bottle, I can still feed him, leave home by 11 a.m. and make it in time for the class. He just might be a little crankier after getting a catnap in the car.
As I tried my best to encourage him to take the bottle quickly (note: nothing can encourage a baby to eat more quickly if he wants to take his good old time about it), I watched the clock and became more and more stressed. We were going to be late, and it was only an hour-long class!
Then I looked at my son as he took a little break from his feeding. He looked relaxed, and happy, and perfectly content lying down in Mommy's lap.
This is what I have been waiting for for so long.
To hell with yoga, and stress, and schedules.
This is our time, and nothing will take that away from us.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Resolution - finally
The day after I wrote my last post, I started bottle feeding. It was the best thing I could have done.
I think it was a conversation with my mom that was the breaking point. She said to me, "I can't believe you've been this patient for this long. You have worked so hard on this." I realized that I had, indeed, done just about everything I could to continue breastfeeding Tyler, and that no one would blame me if I stopped. So, with the pedi's blessing, I have switched to mostly formula, with a bit of breast milk thrown in (I pump three times a day now). Yes, it would be nice if I could feed Tyler completely on pumped breast milk, but that simply isn't possible with my milk supply. (And before any of you suggest that I pump more often, I barely get anything pumping 7 or 8 times a day--maybe an ounce a pumping. And...OWWW!)
Tyler is thriving. I finally caved and bought 8-ounce bottles. He's going to start getting 5 ounces, because at 7 weeks, 4 already isn't enough for him. I think he's thrilled that he's finally getting enough to eat.
And now, I can actually play with him and enjoy his precious baby-ness! It's getting so much more fun every day to watch him. He's smiling more and more. My biggest problem these days is managing the vast amounts of spit-up he produces.
And if that's my biggest problem, I'm doing pretty darned good.
I think it was a conversation with my mom that was the breaking point. She said to me, "I can't believe you've been this patient for this long. You have worked so hard on this." I realized that I had, indeed, done just about everything I could to continue breastfeeding Tyler, and that no one would blame me if I stopped. So, with the pedi's blessing, I have switched to mostly formula, with a bit of breast milk thrown in (I pump three times a day now). Yes, it would be nice if I could feed Tyler completely on pumped breast milk, but that simply isn't possible with my milk supply. (And before any of you suggest that I pump more often, I barely get anything pumping 7 or 8 times a day--maybe an ounce a pumping. And...OWWW!)
Tyler is thriving. I finally caved and bought 8-ounce bottles. He's going to start getting 5 ounces, because at 7 weeks, 4 already isn't enough for him. I think he's thrilled that he's finally getting enough to eat.
And now, I can actually play with him and enjoy his precious baby-ness! It's getting so much more fun every day to watch him. He's smiling more and more. My biggest problem these days is managing the vast amounts of spit-up he produces.
And if that's my biggest problem, I'm doing pretty darned good.
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