Thoughts about adoption

No, this is not a post in which I talk about how M and I are switching our focus to adoption. That is still a long way down the road. Rather, I would like to talk about someone else with whom I have discovered I have a lot in common--the birth mother.

All of my life, I have been resolutely pro-life. No, I was never a sign-carrying activist, but because of the PCOS I always assumed I'd have difficulties procreating, and I wanted to prepare myself to become an adoptive parent. In order for there to be children to adopt, there must be birth parents who choose not to abort. And so I would tell anyone who asked that I believed in giving life a chance. There are plenty of parents who would happily adopt that unplanned child growing inside its mom's belly.

(Ironically, M and I were forced into the position of choosing whether we would terminate our own pregnancy. I still struggle with guilt over this, and probably always will. I must remember that ultimately, the life inside me never had a chance to begin with. That was the difference.)

As M wheeled me out of the hospital a couple of weeks ago, I suddenly felt a kinship with birth mothers who had made that incredibly unselfish, loving choice. Sure, they were leaving behind a living infant, while I was leaving behind a stillborn fetus. But we had something in common: We had both experienced labor and delivery, and we were both leaving the hospital with empty arms. I sobbed because I was leaving my child in the hands of strangers. The birth mother sobs for the same reason. Except, I would imagine that in many ways it is harder for her. She goes through nine months of discomfort and a full-blown labor (yes, my stay in the hospital was hard, but I must admit that the pushing was a cinch), and she has nothing. No wonder so many birth moms change their minds at the last minute. Even Danielle on "Desperate Housewives" felt the maternal bond as she held her son.

I haven't changed how I feel about abortion or adoption. I think I just feel a bit more understanding for birth moms than I had in the past. It is a hard, hard thing to give up a child--whether voluntarily or involuntarily.

A success story

No, not mine (I'm still impatiently waiting for AF--assuming I have any sort of uterine lining to shed at all). I'm talking about Becky! She and her husband are living proof that God answers prayers! Their past 24 hours are about as close to the stork-bringing-a-baby story as you can imagine.

Congratulations, Becky!