Bleh.
I can't help myself. I already have visions of myself a year from now, still trying and wondering whether it would be better to go for infertility treatments, adoption or just let it be and be happy with one kid.
Logically, I know I'm being silly. It's only been two cycles! But frankly, I'm just not used to this cycle roller coaster. My problem is supposed to be ovulating--not conceiving in general. I think that deep down, I'm almost hoping that I start having trouble ovulating again, because then I can legitimately seek help right away, instead of waiting, waiting, waiting.
Honestly, I had forgotten how maddening trying to conceive can be.
But.
There's Tyler. And although he was teething and had a cold for Christmas, he is now just as cute as can be, happily playing in one of our storage containers with a wrapping paper roll.
And while I'm envious of other women who are pregnant right now, and I'm impatient, and just a teeny bit worried...it's not painful. It doesn't hit me in the pit of my stomach like it did three years ago.
3 comments:
That's what blogging is for! I hope it doesn't take you too, too long, but I can understand how frustrating it must be. We're planning to start TTC#2 in a couple of months, and I think I'll be sane for just about 1 cycle before I panic again.
It's so frustrating when you think you know what the problem is, and then it seems to shift on you.
I don't know if you've ever read Taking Charge of Your Fertility (it's mostly a book about temperature charting), but that book seems to advocate seeking help long before a year has passed, if you know you've been having well-timed relations. I don't think you should feel as if your need for help is not legitimate just because you haven't been trying for a full year.
That said, I hope you get a pleasant surprise long before you get to that point.
We waited a year the second time around ourselves, but I had a health speedbump in the middle of it, so we weren't ready for treatments either as fast. We were pretty laissez-faire once we hit treatments too, not the go, go, go like the first time around.
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