So here I am, on the morning of my son's 3rd birthday party, and all I can focus on is the fact that I'm slightly crampy. Crap.
To catch you up...turns out I did end up ovulating on CD18. Yay for me. And so I've been back in the two-week wait again. And let me tell you, the fact that my boobs have not been hurting over the past few days has really been hurting me emotionally.
It's been a year now. We had four unsuccessful cycles on our own last fall and winter, then I took a six-month break to get my thyroid in order, and now this is our first Femara cycle. While I'm grateful I ovulated, ovulation doesn't do any good if you don't get pregnant.
I wish I could just focus on Tyler and all the other things in my life. Instead, I feel like I have mentally put everything else on hold until I find out if this cycle worked. And what happens when my period comes? Well, then it's all for nothing.
God, I wish this didn't mean as much to me.
2 comments:
I know how you feel - before I started trying for #2, I was totally happy and didn't feel like I was missing out. Since I've started TTC, it's hard to remember that grateful feeling. I hope it doesn't take too long for you, though, now that you've started the femara.
I hate living from the day to day as well. xoxoxox
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