Ho-hum

M left on a business trip early this morning. He won’t be back until next Tuesday. I find myself at a loss as to what I’m going to do until then.

Let me clarify. I am not one of those wives who is lost without her husband. I remember going on a 48-hour road trip with a friend several years ago and watching her tearfully kiss her husband goodbye, then “bravely” try to gulp back the tears as we drove away. I thought it was ridiculous; we were, after all, going to be back in less than two days! I lived on my own for several years after college (many of those years sans boyfriend) and am used to entertaining myself. So why the empty feeling?

Actually, when M initially took his current job, he was expecting to be on the road much more often than he is. I had balked at first because we were about to be married (we didn’t live together before we were married), and I wanted us to have a chance to get used to each other before he was gone all the time. As it turned out, he was hardly ever on the road during the first year, and has only occasionally gone on business trips in recent months.

But. But. Now that we have lived together for two years, everything seems more meaningful with M around. I plan our social events with him in mind. He is my constant companion, my rock that doesn’t change. The colors in the world around me seem a little less vivid when he’s not around. Even though we’re often working on different things in the house, just knowing that he’s around is comforting to me.

I am going to try to keep myself busy this weekend. A new friend and I have tentatively made plans to get together on Saturday (we’ll see if that actually happens or not). I’m hoping to bake some cookies to bring over to our new next-door neighbors. My parents live two hours away, and I’m planning on meeting them halfway between our houses on Sunday to grab some lunch and hang out for a little while.

Hopefully, I won’t be sitting around thinking about the 2ww that much.