M left on a business trip early this morning. He won’t be back until next Tuesday. I find myself at a loss as to what I’m going to do until then.
Let me clarify. I am not one of those wives who is lost without her husband. I remember going on a 48-hour road trip with a friend several years ago and watching her tearfully kiss her husband goodbye, then “bravely” try to gulp back the tears as we drove away. I thought it was ridiculous; we were, after all, going to be back in less than two days! I lived on my own for several years after college (many of those years sans boyfriend) and am used to entertaining myself. So why the empty feeling?
Actually, when M initially took his current job, he was expecting to be on the road much more often than he is. I had balked at first because we were about to be married (we didn’t live together before we were married), and I wanted us to have a chance to get used to each other before he was gone all the time. As it turned out, he was hardly ever on the road during the first year, and has only occasionally gone on business trips in recent months.
But. But. Now that we have lived together for two years, everything seems more meaningful with M around. I plan our social events with him in mind. He is my constant companion, my rock that doesn’t change. The colors in the world around me seem a little less vivid when he’s not around. Even though we’re often working on different things in the house, just knowing that he’s around is comforting to me.
I am going to try to keep myself busy this weekend. A new friend and I have tentatively made plans to get together on Saturday (we’ll see if that actually happens or not). I’m hoping to bake some cookies to bring over to our new next-door neighbors. My parents live two hours away, and I’m planning on meeting them halfway between our houses on Sunday to grab some lunch and hang out for a little while.
Hopefully, I won’t be sitting around thinking about the 2ww that much.
7 comments:
I like to think I'm completely independent but when the husband goes away, I find I don't know what to do with myself either. I enjoy some downtime, but things are just not "the same" and I think I kinda like "the same". I'm always surprised how much I like having him around - I don't often realize it until he goes though.
Its very natural! I always look forward to the occassional girls evening out but wouldn't know what to do if my husband were away on a trip.
Your plans sound like fun. Do all you can to reduce the obsessing in the 2ww. Easier said than done right? :-)
gg
i know what you mean. . . i sometimes have fantasies of having the house all to myself for a while, but then when i went to seattle for two nights not so long ago i missed him! hope the time goes quickly...both your husband's trip and the 2ww.
My husband just left for a trip with his underwater hockey team today and won't be back til Tuesday himself. Yes, I have been sitting around like a schlub and wondering what to do with myself since I am off today and the next three...for some reason I can't get to sleep anymore unless I have some legs to put my cold feet on...
Yup, we'd definitely get along well if we lived near each other :) A friend's tears over a couple days apart from her husband would require an eye roll on my part.
It's weird, though. Nowadays, it's harder for me to be motivated to do anything fun when hubby isn't around. Except in the 2ww -- then I fill my schedule :)
I definitely miss the hubby when he goes away...and I was always fiercely independent before him. He says that he tamed me and now I need him. Perhaps your hubby tamed you as well. :-)
Good luck with your 2ww distractions! I hope the time flies by and is followed by a beautiful bfp!
These days I'm beginning to define the TWW as the 'break' between madly TTC. It either worked, or it didn't. Either way, I'll find out soon enough.
Enjoy catching up with your folks.
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