Shortly after waking up and lounging in bed for a few minutes this morning, I began to feel pain in my lower abdomen. Immediately, panic set in, and I told M he had to wake up immediately. For five to 10 minutes, we lay there, me with horrible thoughts going through my head. The pain wasn’t excruciating, but it was enough to make me want a Tylenol. Also, it came in waves—slowly getting more uncomfortable, and then subsiding. Finally, after a few relatively pain-free minutes, I decided to take a shower and see how I felt afterwards. Of course, I felt fine even before I got in the shower. I may end up calling the RE’s office, but I’m pretty sure it was just a fluke. First of all, I know the pregnancy isn’t ectopic—the pain was in the middle, not on the left or right side. Second, if it were a miscarriage, I would imagine the pain would last longer. Third, I have absolutely no spotting. So—rather minor, short-lived cramping, with no spotting? Sounds like my uterus is stretching again.
This brings to mind a confession, however (please don’t think badly of me after I admit this). As short as a month ago, I would read the blogs of IF-ers who had experienced one or more miscarriage and feel like I was a few steps behind them. No, they hadn’t yet had a viable pregnancy, but at least they had gotten the double lines! They knew they could get pregnant! That was much more than I could say for myself. I didn’t want a miscarriage, of course, but I think in some deep down part of myself, I thought a miscarriage would be better than nothing. At least then I would know I had the capability of becoming pregnant.
How silly I was. Even now, I tell myself that if I miscarry, I will at least know we had a fertilized egg. But, see, we’ve already celebrated that part. Now we’re ready to move on to the next celebration, and if we can’t, we simply won’t be satisfied with having “come this far.” That’s like Oscar nominees saying, “It was an honor just to be nominated” when we know damn well they wanted to win. They already had plenty of time to celebrate the nomination. Sitting at the Academy Awards, the only thing they want to do is bring home a golden naked man.
So, I’ll have to assume everything is OK for the time being. No major symptoms yet, but I’m rather bloated, and I’ve been experiencing indigestion in the evenings. My first u/s is scheduled for Aug. 7, when I’m 7 weeks along.
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10 comments:
Small aches and pains down there are totally normal, as long as they don't last too long. I think I had more aches early on too - I think the embryos like to burrow deep!! Plus your uterus should be getting very vascular which I imagine also causes some of the achiness. Don't worry (easier said than done I know) and like my sister told me to say "Today I am pregnant and I will enjoy it!!!!". It's all we can really do anyways !!!
How scary! I'm glad you're feeling better.
And yes, it's nice to know you can get pregnant, but I don't imagine that thought makes a loss easier (especially if the pregnancy was hard to come by.)
I hope we can celebrate our babies together in 8 months or so.
Oh, how true, how very true. I always get a lot of cramping/twinges/achiness down there early on in healthy pregnancies. The ones I lost, I felt nothing. So, twinges are a sign of good activity, I should think!! Paranoia is unavoidable... all we can do is do our best not to freak the hell out any more than necessary!
the paranoia is definitely normal, and not matter how many people tell you that you have nothing to worry about you will still worry. it's natural and normal. as is the cramping, but unfortunately it's way too difficult to make those opposites jibe in your head. i hope it passes quickly.
It is so difficult to be rational when you've finally achieved what you wanted to. I hope you can enjoy some part of this.
I got cramps without spotting in the first tri, and all was ok with the pregnancy.
Of course, all wasn't ok with the baby, but the two were most absolutely not related.
Good luck with your scan.
Just sending a little love your way. Hope you're able to rest your mind...
wow we're pretty much on the same schedule/page with our lil babies! The terrible thing is that once you get the BFP you've been praying and working so hard for- its hard to celebrate and let yourself be happy because there are still weeks of stress, worry, and maybes. It;'s hard to finally let go and be like OMG WE ARE PREGNANT LETS GO REGISTER at 6 weeks. Believe me I've already scanned the net for baby stuff....been doing it for years actually- but soon we will get to that 'safe' point where we can be happy and the next feelings we feel down there will be our baby's kicks :)
Paranoia is totally understandable at this point. I had a lot of weird cramping with DD, and everything turned out fine, if that helps any.
The worrying SUCKS! But, the fact that you are pregnant is FABULOUS- congratulations:)
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