I thought I was unique. I thought I had been through enough, read enough blogs, researched enough that I wouldn’t be totally obsessive over the two-week wait.
I was wrong.
This wait is absolutely killing me. I had told myself that my only real goal was to ovulate; that the pregnancy part would straighten itself out in time. Well, that lasted right until the point that I was sure I ovulated. Then, I started fantasizing that “this could be the cycle.” I began feverishly researching, determined to find a site that would tell me, “Yes, you are probably pregnant!” Alas, no such site exists.
Here is the small, paltry, miniscule reason for my obsession: cramping. Yes, I have been having very, very minor twinges and cramps since 6DPO. Now, these cramps could be a) an early sign of the coming AF (although the few times I’ve gotten a natural period, I don’t remember cramping this early, and I never have short luteal phases); b) a symptom of another corpus luteal cyst; or c) absolutely nothing important.
Or. Or. They could be a sign that a lil’ embryo is implanting itself in my uterus.
I’ve read so much on implantation cramps I’m dizzy. The consensus (as most of you already know) is that there is absolutely no way to tell that you’re pregnant based on early symptoms. Yet that doesn’t stop me from grieving the fact that my boobs don’t hurt.
I thought the two-week wait would be a nice break for me! Yet I can’t stop thinking about how nice it would be to get a BFP right before our family reunion this weekend and the baby shower I have to attend on Sunday. Ah, the lovely feeling to know that I have a secret little baby growing in me…
I was going to test on Friday, but I think now that I will do it on Wednesday—12DPO. It’s hard for me to get anything done until then. Not that I’m going to be a mess if I get a BFN; I just want to know. Then, if I’m not pregnant, I can put this cycle behind me and look forward.
Why, oh why can’t I just live in the moment?
15 comments:
I am crossing my fingers for you and am hoping that you see two pink lines on Wednesday!
Fingers crossed here, too. I've had good luck getting 2 lines on 12 dpo using one of the tests that can detect down to 25 mIU of HCG (First Response Early Detection and the like.) If you get them in 3 or 4 packs they're cheaper. Of course, then you run the risk of the devastation of detecting a chemical pregnancy that you otherwise wouldn't have known about, as I did a few months ago. Faint positive on 12 and 13 dpo, fainter on 14 dpo, then boom--period. Back on the old roller coaster. And try not to freak out if it's not positive on 12 dpo-- some people take longer.
Good luck! I can totally relate..
-g
may's right...12DPO may indeed be too early so don't be too upset if it isn't positive then. i'm sorry this 2ww is a particularly rough one. try to keep dr. google at bay if you can. sending positive thoughts for two lines!
I really hope this is it for you! Don't worry about the lack of sore boobs -- mine weren't at all sore during the 2ww.
The tww wait is always hard! I think after that if you get pregnant (not that I've been there) waiting for the next beta, the first ultrasound, etc., will be hard. Waiting sucks!
Why not be part of the lucky percent this time? I'm cheering for you...
Ditto!! I am linking to your post because that is exactly how I feel. Good luck and hope you see 2 lines!!!
Good luck.
For what it counts, I didn't test until 18DPO because I didn't think that I could be pregnant (back when I *was* pregnant). In hindsight, sore boobs = useful clue. Cramps, can't say I ever noticed.
Good luck, and try to stay away from Google.
The 2ww is just crappy, girl, no matter how you slice it! I can relate to everything you wrote. All the "what ifs" and "wouldn't it be great ifs".
I agree that 12dpo may be too early, but I also understand the "wanting to prepare myself" if it's negative theory.
Good luck!!
It can be well nigh impossible to keep your imagination from taking bright leaps of hope into the future, can't it? Even on cycles that I instinctively knew were doomed, I spent hours googling early pregnancy symptoms.
For what it's worth, when my sister was pregnant, she did feel little twingy cramps that never developed into Aunt Flo...Good luck!
Good luck tomorrow! For what it is worth I also had twingy cramps and thought for sure AF was coming but she never did! My BB's were not sore until quite a few weeks later and even then it was hit or miss (some days sore, some days not at all). Now as you know I am 12 weeks! But good gosh girl, will you just go buy a First Response kit and test so we can all get on with our lives?? This is more suspenseful than Melrose Place!!! (jk!)
Lisa
I am wishing you luck this cycle. I know the 2ww all too well. I'm in it right now but we are on a break so no reason to get my hopes up, right? But I had cramping for the past two days too. I don't except AF for another 8 days...could this be it?
Darn it, I hate what this does to my head.
Hang in there! The 2ww is always brutal! I hope the cramping is a great sign, though!
I've checked back at least half a dozen times today to see if you posted your results of the test this morning. Hopefully you are too busy out celebrating (with something non-alcoholic, of course) to update your blog.
But do please let us know! I'll continue to have my fingers crossed.
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