Happy

Right now, I feel very...normal. And happy.

Strange words for an IF and pregnancy loss blogger to write, huh?

When I head to the bathroom to pee (which I do about every hour or so), I no longer dread what I might see in my underwear. While I still am anxious to find out about the health of my baby’s heart and assorted other body parts, I am no longer glass-is-half-empty with regards to my baby’s insides. While I don’t want to put anything on my calendar, I feel comfortable discussing (and lamenting) with my mother the lack of available dates for a baby shower.

And because I have finally gotten back to that comfortable, pregnant state of being that I enjoyed for so few weeks last time, I can focus on other parts of my life. Normal, everyday parts:
--Because we leave on vacation Friday (we’ll be in England and Scotland), I’m incredibly busy at work trying to wrap up unfinished business. It seems like every time I cross something off my list, two more things get added. But I’m busy! At work! A year ago, this wouldn’t have seemed possible.
--M has been on a business trip since Saturday, so the dog is alone much of the time. Today, he will be alone for 11 hours before I get home. I am overwhelmed by guilt.
--One of the guys in my Bible study failed to ask if I have been to the UK, or even anywhere in Europe, before. As a result, he started “helpfully” informing me that, actually, it’s better not to get a car when you’re traveling in Europe. When HE went to London, they got a car and didn’t even need it! I (not-so-politely) told him that I had been to the UK eight years ago, and yes, while you didn’t need cars in cities, we would be spending hardly any time in the cities. We preferred to drive along the beautiful roads in the rural Scottish Highlands, stopping every once in a while to take in the sights. You can’t do that very well when you’re taking a bus from city to city. He still wasn’t convinced. BUDDY, I KNOW WHAT I WANT! At that, his wife (snidely, I think) said, “As long as it’s also what M wants.” Don’t tell me how to handle my marriage, bitch. (No, the above exchange was not influenced by hormones. Not at all.)

Ah, it feels nice to focus on the minutiae.

Oh, and for those of you who were wondering...it’s a boy. 

I’ll see you at the end of April!