I have to ‘fess up to something: I hate throwing parties.
It’s not because so much work goes into planning them, or even because it takes a while to clean up after a party. No, I hate throwing parties because I’m always afraid nobody is going to come.
It’s usually an unfounded fear. But it’s a fear nonetheless.
You’d think this fear would go away when somebody else is throwing me a party. But no—if anything, it gets worse.
My friend A was gracious enough to offer to throw me a shower. It was a very sweet offer, and at first I was too surprised to say anything. But as soon as I got over my shock, my prevalent thought was: Who in the world am I going to invite?
Let me back up a second. I lived in the Chicago area most of my life. Many of my closest friends, both from high school and college, live in that area, as do my parents and B and SIL’s family. I moved up to the Milwaukee area to be with M a little more than three years ago. I’ve managed to make a decent number of friends, but my “friendship base” is spread out over a larger geographic area than other people’s.
We have been overwhelmed by the support we have received in (and before) this pregnancy. There are five showers being thrown for us. Five! I love attending parties, so it’s lots of fun for me. However, we only know so many people!
Shower #1: In Chicago, thrown by my mother and SIL. It was lots of fun and the perfect size. I got to see most of my Chicago friends and was overwhelmed by love.
Shower #2: A’s shower, scheduled for next weekend (15 minutes from our house). Not including my mom, MIL and other SIL (who lives up here in Cheeseland), I could only think of 12 other people to invite. And even that’s pushing it (church people, etc.).
Shower #3: A total shocker—M’s boss and wife wanted to throw us a shower. The company is very small, so there will probably be just four or five couples there, including us. But a total non-stresser for me, so yay!
Shower #4: My work shower, thrown at a co-worker’s house (ironically, a co-worker that I’ve been hot and cold with since I started working here). Also not much of a stresser for me because everybody at the shower knows each other.
Shower #5: Thrown by my MIL and SIL here in WI. Will be mostly family and MIL’s friends. Since the guest list isn’t so much mine as it is MIL’s, I’m not stressing about it.
So why, you ask, am I so stressed out about A’s shower? First of all, every time I see her she sounds so excited about it. Even though she just had a baby at the beginning of July, she’s putting lots of work into this shower. I’ll feel like I let her down if only a few people can come! Plus, I feel really weird about asking her who she’s heard from, and she doesn't volunteer the information. My mother gave me almost a daily update on the guest list for Shower #1, so I knew exactly who she was still waiting to hear from. It feels weird to be in such a passive position regarding a party.
What I need to do is just stop stressing and start enjoying the ride!
(By the way, last November I would have killed to have “problems” like these. I must admit it feels good that the biggest issues I have right now are superficial.)
7 comments:
I know what you mean. I am actually uncomfortable having other people plan parties for me. I would love an update on the guest list (play-by-play would be ideal) but don't want to impose as I'm grateful they're planning a party. However, maybe it helps to remember it doesn't have to be a big shower to be fun. You can enjoy yourself (and get baby stuff) with just a few people.
I want to say that yes, I am so happy that this is your biggest problem at the moment!! :) I am so happy that things are going so smoothly...I have been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....
as far as the shower, I would try not to stress about it....it is what it is..if you are talking to A sometime and can in casual conversation say, "So, have you had a good response to the shower?"...just kinda in passing, I would do it, or if you think it would be totally awkward then let it go and like I said, It will be what it will be....I am so happy you are having so many showers...what a blessing. Thanks for the update!
Five showers- wowsers! I know with mine I was worried about who would and wouldn't show up. My best friend threw it for me and kept a spreadsheet updated for me. I like having a hand in my own parties. For both my bridal and baby showers, I planned the menu and cooked most of the food, and they were both held at my house.
Holy Moly!! I actually expected the big fat ~zero~ showers for this pregnancy, but since I'm having a boy this time, it looks as if I'm having at least one (it's an out of town one, but I don't know if any of my friends is going to throw me an in-town one or not).
I felt the same about my showers and I had 5 as well! my first one was the same day of the biggest snow storm we had last winter. very few people showed up, vbut it was fun anyway. Enjoy your showers, people will come! I am sure
Enjoy the attention, all new moms say it is the last time you will be treated special :-)
Hey! I don't comment much, but am a faithful reader. Can I get on the "safe" email list? my email is barefoot_lmt at mac dot com.
I'm the same way about parties and it was especially hard for my showers too. The first, only a few people came, but it was nice to be able to actually talk to everyone. My second had about 80 people attend and I only got to say "hi" and "thanks for coming". Still I stressed out over both.
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