I called the RE’s office yesterday (I’ll christen him Dr. Hot—because he is. Very.) and asked for his blessing to start Provera to induce my period and begin my first Femara cycle. The nurse called back and instructed me to first take a pregnancy test, and then, if I get a negative, start on the Provera. If it’s positive, well, that’s a different story.
I know I’m not pregnant. I’m 99.9% sure of it, since my temperatures indicate I didn’t even ovulate (yes, I had a false alarm a couple of weeks ago, but my temps have fallen so much that even Fertility Friend has admitted it was wrong and taken away my coverline). That’s why I want to take the Provera. I know Dr. Hot is just covering his butt, so someone can’t go back to him and say, “You prescribed Provera when you didn’t even know if the woman was pregnant?!!” Yet somehow, the fact that he even suggested a pregnancy test makes me hopeful. Like maybe it is possible to ovulate without a temperature rise (as far as I know, it’s not), or even to conceive without ovulating (not bloody likely!).
In a way, it’s like hoping you may have lost weight simply by buying a gym membership—without ever actually going to the gym to work out (yes, I know it’s a weak analogy, but it works in this case).
So, I know I will not be announcing a BFP next week. But you can bet my heart will still be pounding when I POAS tomorrow morning.
10 comments:
There's something about peeing on that stick that makes my adrenaline race. Just remember to keep breathing through it.
Ahhh, peeing on a stick. Oh, how I hate thee. I swear I can't make anything have two pink lines, be it ovulation predictor sticks or pregnancy ones. Grrrr....
I hate having to take a pregnancy test when I'm sure I won't be pregnant. Because even if I KNOW it's impossible, there's a single moment, right before getting the results, that I think "maybe."
I remember a couple of summers ago having a UTI and getting a prescription for antibiotics that were bad for you if you were pregnant. Since I hadn't had a period in three months, the doctor's office made me do a test then and there. My temps had remained low, so I knew it was really unlikely, but it still put me through hope and then despair.
Hope can be such a persistent little devil, can't it?
Only Hope can make so many reasonable, intelligent women question the most basic common sense about what it takes to get pregnant. I'll admit that the month we got the azoospermia diagnosis, I was hoping that we got someone else's SA results and my period wouldn't show up after all. (I know, dream on, right?)
I don't POAS any more. I didn't when I managed to fall pregnant until I was nearly 6 weeks because I couldn't believe that it might've been possible. At least that way I got half the first trimester out of the way without knowing it :) (what happened after that had nothing to do with late POAS)
Anyway, good luck with the POAS thing, and remember that anything is possible.
Even when i "know" what the results will be... still impossible for me not to be a little anxious, a little hopeful when POAS... no matter how hard i try to distance myself.
So good luck. I am hoping that this POAS will (either way) open up great opportunities!
Good luck on your first cycle of femara. I did my first cycle of femara in late April, with u/s monitoring and HCG trigger and guess what...I got a BFP on the first try!! The nurse said it was possible but I didn't believe her - after all, I only had one sizable follicle and my lining was on the thin side. Best of luck - to me it's a miracle drug!! I hope your results are as good as mine! BTW, I have already POAS 5 times since getting my + last week!!
I also forgot to mention - I also have PCOS and have been on metformin since October. My cycles were always irregular (33-54 days) but I was ovulatiing, it just took awhile for things to get moving every month. The metformin has not changed my cycles much but I did have the shortest cycle I have ever had - 31 days- a couple months ago. Anyways I was on the metformin and femara this cycle. A wonderful combination with a 20mm follicle on cd13 - what a miracle!! Best of luck to you!!!!!!!
Nothing is worse than going through that false hope. We're having some false hope right now of our own, I think. Not that I know that for sure, but it's my guess.
Someday, I hope my hope gives way to solid proof.
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