At the infertility support group meeting M and I attended a couple of weeks ago, one of the women (who had experienced multiple miscarriages) spoke about the price of an IUI at one of the clinics in the area. When I questioned how much the monitoring ultrasound (to figure out if the woman was, indeed, about to ovulate) cost, she said she never had one. She always knew when she was ovulating, because she could feel a distinct pain near where her ovaries are. She could even tell which side she was ovulating from. One of the other women chimed in with the same experience.
I was aghast. I cannot imagine knowing when I am ovulating—especially since it happens so rarely. We PCOS-ers consider it a damn miracle if we release an egg at all, let alone pinpoint the ovulation as it’s happening.
I spend my days living in fear. I’m afraid that even if I do ovulate, I’ll be like the many PCOS-ers who can’t conceive even if they do start ovulating (I know I said screw the stats, but they’re still in the back of my mind). But the truth is, I don’t have any logical reasons to think I can’t get pregnant if I can just start reliably predicting ovulation. I have only had well-timed sex once. And I didn’t get pregnant. Hell, that means nothing! I need to stop thinking about what might happen, and instead focus on the reality of the situation—I still have a very good shot at getting pregnant without IVF. (I don’t mean to offend any of you who have gone through IVF. I still consider it a very good option; it’s just that here in Wisconsin, it’s all out-of-pocket, and that’s a good $12,000 down the drain.)
4 comments:
I know what you mean! I have what should be "about to O" symptoms multiple times in every cycle, so it's completely unpredictable. I always know a couple of days after O because my body reacts very strongly to the progesterone surge, but knowing what's going on before that is a total crap shoot.
ha! being able to know when you ovulate sounds simply absurd to me too! i need drugs to ovulate and an OPK to tell me when that might be even. . .
Personally, I find OPK's helpful. Theyre affordable online and they can be fairly reliable.
Unfortunately, because I ovulate rarely too, I go through a lot of them, and to keep my baseline LH down enough not to always have a secnd line takes running my ass off and eating cardboard.
Oy vay! I'm with you on that one, sister. You know, when I first started TTC, I bought a crapload of OPKs and HPT tests online - like, as in, about 50 of each. They were super, super cheap! And before I realized that I had PCOS, I charted my stupid temperature for months and months on end and never once did that bitch Fertility Friend ever give me a goddamn coverline, and I peed and peed on all 50 OPKs, plus about a gagillion more that I bought at the store. And over the last 2.5 years I've also probably peed on half of those HPTs, plus more store bought ones, etc. The ONE and ONLY time I've ever gotten a positive, or second line, E-V-E-R, was when I peed on an HPT stick 9 days ago after I had my IUI. It sensed the leftover hCG from the trigger and showed me a second line. And that is really the first time that I've actually felt like my uncooperative PCOSed-up body has actually done something predictable. I absolutely cannot imagine knowing that I'd just make an egg every month - that there'd be a sliver of a chance of a pregnancy every month - for free! I'd give just about anything to rid myself of PCOS. But, don't despair, for there are plenty of PCOSers who begin ovulating on their own after taking Met, or something else....and plenty who become pregnant on their first round of Clomid, and plenty who become pregnant on their first IUI, and so on. I keep trying to believe that I will fall into the lucky side of statistics at some point in this battle, and I hope all the best for you too!!!
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