Does it suck to be you?

There is a musical currently playing on Broadway called “Avenue Q.” It’s sort of the antithesis of “Sesame Street” and stars 20- and 30-something puppets and humans with foul mouths. The opening song, “It Sucks to Be Me,” features the main characters singing about how much their lives suck. One character just lost his job, one wishes she had a boyfriend, two others are stuck in an intolerable roommate situation. Most of the musical is about how difficult life is for everyone. The closing song begins, “Everyone’s a little bit unsatisfied/Everyone goes ‘round a little empty inside.” It sounds depressing, but the musical is actually hilarious.

When I start to feel sorry for myself because of my infertility, I just think about that song, and about the people in my life. We’re all stranded in lifeboats in the middle of the ocean; our boats just look a little different from each other. Here’s a sampling:

--Our good friend S, a 29-year-old guy, just sent out a mass e-mail telling his friends that his girlfriend just broke up with him on the phone. Just a few weeks ago, when M talked to him about the relationship, he said it was going “really, really well.” I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been looking at rings. This is a guy who was formerly a “playboy,” but it seemed to all of us that he had finally found the right person with whom to settle down. Now it’s back to square one. In the meantime, he’s still substitute teaching because he lost his job a couple of years ago.

--My co-worker J was so happy she and her husband had finished their last payment on their minivan (they have two kids). Then, less than a month after that last payment, it broke down. Engine failure. Warranty expired at 100,000 miles, and they had 102,000 miles on it. It would cost $3,500 to repair it, so instead, they’re going to do a Band-Aid repair (about $800) and go shopping for another car. So much for saving money. They even considered canceling their upcoming vacation.

--My BIL (the husband of the SIL who talks about “when we have kids”) is a CPA with his own business. For three months every year, he lives in the office, working 12-14 hours, seven days a week. My SIL basically has to raise their toddler alone during tax season. This will be their life until he retires. It gets harder on her every year.

--My friend K has a degree in film from Northwestern University, but she hasn’t been able (or motivated) to find a job in her field. So instead, she works at a store in the mall and lives at home with her mom (she’s 29). Although recently, she found a new guy, so temporarily it doesn’t suck to be her.

--A year ago, a man at our church had a stroke/brain aneurysm. He was left severely disabled, and his wife and five young children nursed him until he died about six months later. Now, the wife is left to cope with raising her family alone.

When I start to feel sorry for myself, I try instead to think about all the good things in my life and all the reasons why it doesn’t “suck to be me.”