Schaudenfreude

Ever heard of the word? It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others." It's not very PC, but it's an entirely appropriate word for how I felt when M told me the story of his phone conversation with Prenatal Care Nurse at Hospital X the other day. I took perverse pleasure in knowing that the phone call probably ruined her day. For your enjoyment, I'm pasting the letter I wrote as a follow-up to that call. Of course, the names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent. (And lest you forget, I do public relations for Hospital X. Ironic, isn't it?)

Dec. 27, 2007

To whom it may concern:

On Wednesday, Dec. 26, my husband answered a call to our home from Prenatal Care Nurse in Hospital X's Birthing Center. She wanted to make arrangements for my stay in the Birthing Center at the end of March 2008—when my baby was supposed to be due.

The problem was, I was no longer pregnant. My baby, Zachary Andrew, had been stillborn at 20 weeks gestation on Nov. 7, 2007 at Hospital Y (Hospital X's sister hospital). He had been diagnosed with bilateral renal agenesis—a lethal condition—and my husband and I made the decision to induce labor and terminate the pregnancy.

Naturally, the call was very upsetting for both my husband and me. We have been trying very hard to heal over the past seven weeks, and it was difficult to have yet another reminder of where we should have been—the beginning of my third trimester. Prenatal Care Nurse apologized profusely, but the damage had already been done.

Isn’t there a procedure in place for communicating pregnancy loss between OB's Outside Clinic and Hospital X? If there isn’t, shouldn’t there be? The terrible part is, this was not the first time throughout this process that my case was mishandled. On Monday, Nov. 5, after confirming my diagnosis, Perinatologist A at Academic Medical Center Associated With Hospital Y called my OB to find out if I could be induced at Hospital X—my first choice. I understand there was confusion over whether Hospital X's policy allows cases such as mine. I know Rockin' Perinatal Nurse Who Has Become My Advocate and Friend at Hospital X is following up on this issue, so I won’t go into detail. But the fact is, there were people at Hospital X who knew one of my OB's patients had lost her baby. Shouldn’t it have occurred to someone to find out who the patient was and take my name off the database of “moms-to-be” to call?

The labor and delivery nurses at Hospital Y were wonderful, especially given my situation. Perinatologist B, who delivered my baby, was also very compassionate. I would recommend Hospital Y's Birthing Center to anyone. I wish I could feel this way about my own hospital—especially since I hope to someday carry a pregnancy to term.

I do not want any personal follow-up; my husband and I have been through enough. What I do want is for the right people to sit down together and make sure this never happens to another woman. Please, please refine your policies and procedures. It is imperative that the OBs at Outside Clinic have very clear communication with the hospital, and that they fully understand what the nurses on the Birthing Center will and will not do. Thank you.