I have either adopted a very healthy new life philosophy, or I have painted myself into a corner.
If all proceeds as planned/hoped/anticipated, I have about 18 weeks left at my current job. I plan on submitting my notice while on maternity leave and returning to freelance writing January-ish.
I have started brushing off everyday annoyances as non-issues, telling myself it doesn’t matter all that much because I won’t be around long enough to suffer any potential consequences. For example:
My co-workers seem to be closer to each other than they are to me? Ah well—in about four months I won’t have much contact with them anyway.
My boss appears to trust my colleague more than she trusts me? Ah well—I don’t plan on staying in this position, anyway.
My numbers have slowly been sliding? Ah well—by the time anybody tries to do something about it, I’ll be gone.
This does eliminate a lot of stress. But I’m also aware that I’m slipping into an attitude of complacency—and that doesn’t really fit my personality.
I have felt this way before. When M and I got engaged in June 2004, we planned a wedding for April 2005. We knew I would be moving two hours from my apartment to his house, and thus quitting my job (of which I had tired). I even told my boss I would be leaving, and because I was also leaving my profession I stopped caring what the powers that were thought of me. Ironically, shortly before I left I got my best performance review ever.
Don’t get me wrong—I do, indeed, care very much about my future. But most of the things that are on my mind right now (building a successful part-time career; finding appropriate, occasional childcare once I get settled in that career; building a new social network) are things I simply can’t address for another six months. So instead I plug along, with no real drive to accomplish anything fantastic at my current employer.
I felt this way last October, too. Then the rug got pulled out from under me and I was forced to view my job in a new light as I realized I was going to be here for longer than I had thought. That change in plans was almost as devastating as losing Zach.
Have you ever become a slacker because you knew your current situation wouldn’t last long?
5 comments:
In school they have a name for what you have: Senioritis! And the spring weather makes it worse.
I've definitely become a slacker at times, although for different reasons. Last year, I switched positions at work from one that was very stressful and fast paced to one where nobody even really cared whether I was doing anything at all (or at least it felt that way to me). At the same time I was then absorbed by trying to get pregnant and then stay that way. Just now, am I finally getting motivated again. Part of that is due to new responsibilities that make me feel valued but part of it is me realizing that to do well I need to depend on myself for motivation and not others. Plus I need to come back to this job after the baby is born.
That said, I don't think that slacking off from time to time is necessarily bad. Sometimes it is a healthy break, which you can use because your life is about to change dramatically! (And for the better, I'm sure). As long as you aren't burning bridges that you might need later, then I wouldn't worry.
I knew I wasn't going back to work after my twins were born so around 8 weeks is when my attidude (and job performance) started slacking. As I read through your post, it took me back and made me laugh. So often I thought those very same things! I used to take tons of days off toward the end for "appointments" that I'd always schedule around lunchtime on Fridays :) You are very right, though, it is a fantastic de-stresser. Pretty soon you'll have a brand new boss and I'm sure you'll love that way more anyways. Hope the last leg of the journey is incredibly enjoyable for you!
I know what you feel like with your coworkers. They have little pow-wows and I am not invited. It used to bother me, now not so much. Although I am coming back to this job at some point after a matenity leave so maybe I should care more.
There was one time when I thought I might get a different position. So I started really not caring at my job, then I didn't get the job and had to HAUL ASS to finish a bunch of projects so I didn't get fired. Yeah... not such a good idea!!
Post a Comment