Like many of you new moms out there, I intend on writing a birth story (trust me, it's a good one). However, I simply can't formulate my thoughts coherently enough to write it. So instead, you get a completely unorganized list of thoughts I'm having/scenes from my new life/my ever-growing list of worries.
1. I have a newborn baby in my house who is completely dependent on me. Holy. Cow. There's no turning back now. Not that I'd want to, but still...
2. I paced around the house holding a screaming baby last night, tears streaming down my face. Not because I was happy, but because I had no idea how to calm him (yes, I've read all the right books, but none of the methods, including Mr. Karp's, were working), and I was so very, very tired.
3. When Tyler is coming into my breast for a feed, he shakes his head back and forth and looks for all the world like a little mouse.
4. It's been six days since he was born, and I'm still waiting for my milk to come in (all I have is the transitional stuff so far). Ever the optimist, I'm convinced my milk will never come in.
5. We saw the ped yesterday. While he's not concerned with Tyler's huge loss of weight (15 oz in five days), he wants to see him again on Monday, and if he's still losing weight, we're going to have to start supplementing with formula. Yet another way in which my body doesn't seem to be working as it should.
6. I have godawful nipple pain whenever Tyler nurses. Ok, it's not godawful, but it isn't the most fun thing in the world. It necessitate the use of a nipple shield.
7. I have an incredibly beautiful baby. I can't seem to find any of his features that actually look like me, but I suppose that's fine. The nurses at the hospital said he's too pretty to be a boy (on account of his long eyelashes).
8. I have constipation (because of the pain meds) for the first time in a year. It sucks.
9. On the other hand, I feel (and M feels, as a veteran of two hernia surgeries) that I am recovering remarkably well from my c-section. I could definitely see doing this again (once you hear my birth story, you'll understand why I probably won't be a proponent of a VBAC).
10. Yes, parenting is lots and lots of hard work. However, he's just so darned cute!
11. I have the best OB in the world.
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18 comments:
Hang in there if you want to breastfeed. I had to supplement my daughter with formula for the first week or two while my milk came in and to give my nipples time to heal. I ended up pumping to keep my supply up and nursed successfully for seven months.
Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy. Can't wait to read you birth story.
So glad to hear that you are on the mend. Congrats on the new baby and new life! I'll keep good thought for the nursing stuff.
I spent a lot of time the first couple weeks sobbing between 9pm and 2 am because I was exhausted, Jonah kept screaming, and none of those darn methods worked for us either. Over the next few weeks the evening crying time got shorter and shorter until he started sleeping for a good 6 hours a stretch. It will get better! Taking turns sleeping over those few hours helped for us. We found bouncing on the exercise ball or rocking, swaddling, feeding or sucking on the Paci, and quiet music as part of the night routine eventually helped him- after doing it for weeks. We still do everything except swaddling to get him to sleep.
PCOS and c-sections can mess around with the milk supply- sometimes it takes longer for milk to come in- but BF doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. You can do both if you need to until the milk comes in full force.
Congratulations on Tyler's arrival! Glad to hear you're healing well, and I hope you find success with breastfeeding soon.
I found the first few days to be so very hard, too -- hard enough that my sobbing triggered the postpartum depression screening at our first pediatric appointment. I'm fine, but at 5 days, with no milk and no sleep and a baby who was jaundiced, losing weight, and wouldn't let us put him down anywhere at any time without screaming. He was only happy when we were holding him ... it was a rough first week or two. I haven't yet got that birth story written.
At 5 weeks now, things are starting to settle in for us ... I hope they do for you, as well! Best wishes!
I'll echo the other comments-- PCOS and a hard birth (esp. with blood loss) can reduce milk supply-- don't be afraid to supplement. However, get off the nipple shield ASAP because that CAN be a milk-killer. I assume you are working with an LC? Fenugreek, acupuncture, and chiropractory have all been shown to boost milk supplies.
My baby lost 15 ounces in the first week too-- and took 3 weeks to start gaining (even with formula). He did gain though, and now is HUGE. We never exclusively bf'd but we did bf until he was 11 months, so do what you have to do to keep getting him some breast milk, even if that means formula too. I nursed, fed a bottle of expressed milk, and then pumped for the next feeding. It takes all your time, but it does even out after the first 6-8 weeks.
I did also cry all the time (like, 10 hours a day) and did develop a terrible, life-threatening case of PPD. Take it seriously. Infertility, a difficult birth, and a high strung mother are all huge risk factors-- if you are at all unsure if you are getting in trouble, ask for help evaluating your situation.
Can't wait to see pictures!
As you have already read, your feelings are all very normal. Although I imagine not what you expected. As someone previously mentioned Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, and Mother's Milk Tea can all help with milk production. I drank that tea like crazy the second time around and my milk came in much quicker. That hurting stuff is normal too especially the first few weeks. Do what works for you- regardless. Try to get some rest when you can.
Ann,
Accept belated congratulations?
So wonderful to read of the healthy arrival of your second son. I don't forget your firstborn, either....
Much love,
J
PS... my milk never came in, if you ever nees a friend inside the comupter to talk to about it, I'm always around. So to speak.
The first weeks are SO exhausting. Try not to be too hard on yourself.
Looking forward to hearing that birth story...
Congratulations! I remember when my first son was born, I literally felt like I couldn't breathe those first few days. I was A) overwhelmed and B) struck stupid with how much I loved a tiny little person. I would cry at the drop of a hat for days, and then cry because I couldn't stop.
I heard that if you drink a beer, it helps your milk come in. :)
So very glad to hear you are recovering from the C-Section. I had an emergency C with my first and a scheduled C with my second, and I totally loved the Scheduled C.
The first couple months are BRUTAL, so I totally sympathize there. If your husband can help you calm him (taking turns like Mrs. Spock says), it will help a little.
Make sure to keep a watch out for PPD--I did not realize I had it with my first one until I was a total wreak and I was 8 weeks out.
Just know that you have people to vent with and who understand--its a tough thing dealing with a newborn!
Take your time, and your milk will come in. Meantime, the baby is fine. I will say that you need lots of liquids and rest to do this successfully after a c-section, so tell your husband he has to walk the baby, and you sit or lie down. (liquids will help with the constipation too)
If you have to use the nipple shield do, because if used temporarily it can be good to let the blisters heal, but long term it will not help your supply. To fix that, let the baby nuzzle your breasts skin to skin without the shield so that your body will get the signal to make oxytocin and therefore milk. If you do this after feeding him, he won't be hungry and try to latch without the shield but he will rest a bit.
For the nipple pain, I highly recommend the triple nipple ointment or the all-purpose nipple ointment from Dr.Newman.
http://www.kellymom.com/newman/03b-treatments_sore_nipples_breasts.html#apno
Add in the grapefruit seed extract for thrush and you will feel much much better quickly.
KellyMom will also have some other ideas about latching and positions to help. LCs are great but to be honest, they aren't there at 2:00 am and the internet is. Youtube also has some videos by Jack Newman where he shows things, etc. check it out.
And finally, if the baby cries more when he is horizontal than if you put him down vertically, like in the car seat, ask your ped about reflux/heartburn medication. It transformed my baby from a screaming arching back angry child who hated feeding because it hurt his tummy, to a peaceful calm, lovely one who breastfed like champ and sleeps like a dream.
What you describe sounds like Julius before zantac. Take care!
When you're nursing make sure his lips are flipped out(like a puckered fish), not flipped under(like when you chew on your lip when you're worried-well for all I know you don't do that...but you know what I mean!!). My first child didn't pucker her lips out well in the beginning and I use to have to make sure I flipped her lip out, otherwise she would nurse and not get much, even though I had tons of milk. As soon as I made sure she was puckered(top and bottom) then she got tons of milk down her belly.
Congrats on the baby!!
Congratulations again on your little one. The first 10 to 14 days are the hardest. Hang in there and concentrate on the cuteness!
I had a huge problem with latching my firstborn and also remember spending a whole night awake with her and crying. After some help from a midwife, we finally got it right and she nursed for a year.
I believe milk sometimes does take longer to come in after a c-section. Also, supplementing with formula does not mean failure.
Thinking of you.
So glad to hear that you are recovering well. Don't feel bad about supplementing, you are a great mom. Maybe make an appnt. with a lactation consultant, that helped me HUGE in the begining, I was in so much pain that my body was letting down the milk it should. She tought me some wonderful nursing tricks. Smooch that baby! Don't you just L O V E the rooting!
CONGRATULATIONS!!
The baby books didn't prepare me for any of it. I nursed my daughter for 11 months (towards the end we had gradually weaned to only evening feedings) and I still don't think I had ever got the hang of it! I believe that nursing pain can mean that the latch may not be correct? ... But I'm not sure.
I couldn't believe how many different opinions I got from my pedi's office about my colicky newborn ... between don't give the baby a pacifier!! (due to "nipple confusion") to "why don't you give the baby a binky" if it's fussy.
I've found that you should go with your own gut feeling and usually other new moms and doctors are a good resource but you probably know best what will work for your baby. My daughter began sleeping through the night at 5 weeks, 1 day! I remember the exact day! Best Wishes!
Cannot wait to hear more. I hope you're able to find a few moments of peace each day. Congratulations, mommy!
Congrast again on the birth of Tyler.
Hope the feeding issues work themselves out.
Congratulations Ann! Tons of good advice from posters who have been there done that.
Eagerly looking forward to your birth story.
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