OK, I'm tossing this one out to the peanut gallery because M and I are totally at a loss.
Tyler doesn't have a problem with sleeping--once he actually gets to sleep. Getting him to sleep is the hard part. Every night, I feed him and we try to put him down. Except, he's wide awake, and the more you try to get him sleepy, the angrier he gets. How in the world do we get him tired enough that he consents to being rocked to sleep? When I wake up at night for feedings, I don't have a huge problem putting him back to sleep. Apparently, he's tired enough.
Yes, we use Mr. Karp's 5 S's. Yes, we do the whole "nighttime routine." But none of that works when he's not actually tired!
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This was a huge issue for us. We did Mr Karp's stuff and we do a routine, but it was a slow process over 6 weeks that his clock was reset. Our doula told us to put his Pack n Play in full sun during the daytime when he napped to help reset his clock, and to not have the TV or bright lights on at night. We bought a "moonlight" style nightlight for his room rather than the "yellow" light.
All I can say is those first 6 weeks were rough as hell, especially between 9pm and 2 am. There was usually fussing in the evening before then. There is no magic bullet, I think. You just pull through it together until he figures out with a consistent routine that night is for sleeping and day is for being awake.
We spent a lot of that time holding him swaddled while bouncing on our exercise ball or with him in the sling. And wanting to run out of the house screaming.
At 6 weeks he slept 5 hours straight through for the first time, and it has lengthened over time, with periods of sleep regression thrown in, and much less fussing in the evening now that we all know what to expect.
I think we've been lucky in that Jillian has almost always been happy to go to sleep at night. She is up quite a bit during the day, so maybe that helps get her to sleep at night. Occasionally she's abnormally fussy thanks to gassiness, but we've found that cradling her diagonally across our chest with a jiggle and often walking helps.
Good luck. I know how hard it is when you want to go to sleep but your baby has other plans!
I know it is hard but give it some time. He is still adjusting to life outside the womb. His bedtime should get earlier and earlier in the weeks to come. If he isn't tired when you think it is bedtime then he isn't tired and all you are doing is fighting a battle that he will win. At around 4 months all three of mine were going to bed around 7-8. Hang in there.
It takes at least 6 weeks for them to have any prayer of getting on anything like a sleep schedule. Really more like 2-3 months, but the first 6 weeks forget it. Do the 5 s's, keep it light during the day, dark at night, and sleep whenever he does. This time does pass, but it seems like forever when you're in it.
Mine slept through the night the first time after his 2 month dr check up (one night, but it was so appreciated.) It will get better in the next couple of months, but you just have to hang on until then...
Until Tyler is 5 or 6 weeks old he probably won't sleep at the times you'd like him to sleep. Although, I think that establishing a routine now will help in the later months. I also think it's a good idea not to engage with Tyler when he wakes up for nighttime feedings. I didn't talk or even turn on the lights when I nursed at night and found that if you keep everything boring and serene the baby might nurse a bit and fall right back to sleep at night -- then you can go back to sleep too. Emma would usually be up for an hour or more if I changed a diaper or turned on the lights at night.
Opps ... I posted before adding this to my last post ...
... Right now Tyler is going back to sleep after his nighttime feedings but I've found with newborns -- you think you have one sleep issue solved and then their sleeping habits could suddenly change and you have a different set of sleep challenges. Light during the day and dark, quite at nice seemed to work well for us.
Ann,
Still to deliver here but I'm so happy you are posting questions to experienced moms. Thank you so much.
All my friends seem to struggle with latching problems and sleeping patterns. So will keep watching this space.
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