Oh, breasts, breasts, breasts. You’re going to be the end of me.
Why do you toy with me so? Why give me false hope (and yes, I am going to continue to use the word “false” until proven otherwise)? I remember how much you ached during my last pregnancy, beginning at about 5 weeks and continuing until weeks after the pregnancy ended. It was a crescendo of agony, that continued to grow and grow until I couldn’t walk down the hallway without howling in pain.
But oh, what sweet pain. Because it reminded me that I was still pregnant.
And now, I find myself fondling you at my desk, surreptitiously sneaking a poke when I think no one else is looking. When I poke you, do you not ache? A small ache, and only on the outer regions of your bounty, but an ache nonetheless. I have even made trips to the bathroom for the sole purpose of poking you within an inch of your lives. I even took off my bra to gaze at you in the mirror. And oh, were you voluptuous! Yes, I know that you already grew a cup size during my last pregnancy, but I don’t remember you being quite this big and swollen a month ago.
Those changes, plus occasional cramps over the last few days (today is 10dpo), have put a spring in my step today. I actually believe I might see a second line when I test at the end of the week!
Oh, fie, fie, fie! You torture me so! You make a mockery of me by causing me to be like so many other infertile women and invent “symptoms.” But I never noticed "phantom symptoms" before...
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19 comments:
Oh Ann,
I hope they are not phantom symptoms. I hope it is the real thing. Hoping you see a second line. Hugs to you. The last few days of waiting can be the hardest ones. Give an update when you find out. I am here for you good or disappointing.
I ditto Kathy when I say that I hope that these are not phantom symptoms. I'll be hoping that you see two bright lines at the end of the week.
Darn, we have to wait until the end of the week to see how this turns out?
I hope the symptoms are for real!
I play with my boobs way too much during the 2ww.
Hope your are telling you something!
I'm sending happy, two line vibes your way :) Best of luck!
I'm praying for 2 lines for you! I too fondled my boobs endlessley during every 2ww in our IVF journey. I was terrified of someone walking into my office while I was coping a feel... luckily, that never happened.
Love it - what a great way to capture the torture and craziness of the 2ww.
Good luck this week!
now you've got me poking!
you are fabulously creative in your agony of waiting, at least... :)
The only time my boobs ever hurt is when HCG is in my system...and you seem to be the same!! So like you I am holding out hope for those 2 lines!!!
Better watch that poking or your breasts will be sore for a different reason by the end of the week :)
Hoping these are the real thing too!
The self fondling of an IFer is such a funny thing.
(trigs)
When I was preg w/ #1, they were so very sore. But w/ preg #2, nothing. Nada. Even after the 2 lines, I poked and poked and poked to try to feel something. It was such a hard thing to NOT have symptoms.
My whole point of taking the step to say something w/ trigs in a comment was to tell you that from pregnancy to pregnancy, what you had as a symptom may not be a symptom of the next. Or it could. Just don't let any feelings or lack thereof disappoint you.
GL!
I hope your boob-o-meter is right! I do know that when I saw those 2 lines the boobage didn't feel much different than the usual PMS-y stuff- not until I was 6-8 weeks- then, kapow!
I really hope they aren't phantom symptoms. Hang in there...I'm hoping the agonizing wait ends well for you!
GOOD LUCK! And I totally do that too - pinching my boobs just to see if they hurt. Im glad someone else does that too!!!
OMG OMG OMG! This is it! I'll be holding my breath till your next post!
How funny!!
I do so hope that you get your beloved, most precious, BFP o Friday. You must let us know the second you find out!
2nd round of femara, at 7dpo, my wife is having crazy TB! I poke them several times a day just to make sure, she gets so pissed! thanks for that post, it was fitting, praying for 2 lines this weekend
I am praying for you and I cannot wait to hear an update!
I certainly hope your "girls" aren't messing with you. Mine loved to take me just to the precipice of believing I had to be pregnant because they'd grow two sizes and ache something fierce only to deflate suddenly and without warning. I think they were just trying to mimick all of the pregnant women who seem to surround me constantly.
Here's hoping yours aren't that cruel.
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