During my last pregnancy, I viewed it as a badge of honor that my clothes didn’t start feeling tight until I was 12 weeks. That was when I started wearing maternity dress pants to work, and a few weeks later I was in full-fledged maternity jeans (even when I tried the rubber-band trick, my jeans kept falling down because my ample flesh was oozing through the zipper). As the weeks of my second trimester progressed, I collected maternity tops as gifts from family and friends and bought a few myself. I kept on hearing others talk about how “I didn’t start showing until I was five months along,” and I was determined I was going to hold out as long as they did. They also advised me to wear my regular tops as long as I could because I’d get so sick of the maternity tops. So it became a game for me—how long before I have to switch to full-on maternity clothes? My newly ample bosom helped to speed things along, but I still had plenty of stretchy sweaters to cover myself. Finally, right before the Big Bad Ultrasound, I decided I would start wearing my maternity tops to work the following Monday at 20 weeks. I was thrilled.
Then all hell broke loose, and instead of proudly sporting my new clothes, I pulled an old sweatshirt over my jeans as M and I drove to the perinatologist’s office to confirm our son’s deadly diagnosis. The following day I was admitted to the hospital, and by the time I came home there was, of course, no need for maternity tops anymore. With tears stinging my eyes, I gathered all the maternity tops out of my closet and moved them into the other room, most of them still with the tags on.
Those clothes have been the tangible reminder of what was supposed to be. I could chastise myself for purchasing maternity tops so soon, but come on. Who doesn’t have a closetful of maternity clothes by 20 weeks?
This Friday I will be nine weeks pregnant. I’m definitely not showing but I have a pooch, as is usual for subsequent pregnancies. I’m wearing maternity pants to work (I never went back to my regular pants because they were just a wee bit too tight, and my maternity pants really don’t look like maternity pants), and about a week ago I decided it wasn’t worth it trying to fit into my (one size bigger than pre-pregnancy #1) jeans, so I decided to dig my maternity jeans out of my drawer. But, at least for me, maternity pants aren’t so much fun as they are utilitarian.
Many of my button-down tops don’t fit anymore because of my ever-increasing chest. Still, I have enough winter clothes to go for 2 ½ weeks at work without wearing the same thing twice.
Here’s the question: When do I switch into maternity tops? Where I live, most of March is still pretty cold. By the time the middle of April comes around, you could be wearing light long sleeves one day, short sleeves the next. All my maternity clothes are long-sleeved, which means I only have a limited amount of time to wear them. A few of them, of course, would look rather ridiculous on me because my belly doesn’t fill them out yet. But most were designed to grow with the belly so they would fit fine now.
Every day when I look at myself in the mirror, I pray to be able to see more of a “pop.” And sometimes I think I do! It would thrill me to no end to be able to wear my maternity tops. I guess my question above is more rhetorical because, of course, I can switch clothes whenever I want. It’s just a question of what’s better—being reasonable or indulging my psyche.
And here’s the other thing: If this pregnancy continues, soon I will need short-sleeved maternity clothes. I had been planning on taking vacation day for Good Friday on March 21 (I haven’t taken off work since New Year’s Day and I need a break! And yes, I am a compulsive planner.). By that time, I will be 12 weeks along and we will have told our family. Do I invite my mom to go on a fun mother-daughter-bonding maternity clothes shopping trip? What if I’m jinxing myself? What if I buy all new clothes again, and we go in for our 15-week scan and find out this baby won’t live, either?
Maternity clothes. Such a silly, vain subject—yet for me, those clothes represent a world that I was so, so close to before it was snatched away from me.
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11 comments:
I understand your fear, though to a smaller extent, since I have never lost a child. I get superstitious at times and wonder if getting the nursery ready is setting me up for a big downfall. The death of a child can make you feel even more out of control, and looking for a way to prevent it. Buying clothes won't jinx anything, though. What happened with Zach's kidneys was brewing long before you started wearing maternity pants. If it makes you feel better to put off making future plans until the scan shows everything is OK, there's nothing wrong with that either.
I don't don't have any great advice. My heart breaks for you. I read your posts and pray to god that this little miracle will grow and thrive and in 31 weeks you will be so proud. Do what makes you feel best. Be proud of being pregnant, show off, you are an amazingly strong woman, and have every right to look at the pooch, and wear what ever clothes you want. Holing my breath for you.
Tough decision. I agree with Mrs. Spock. When you start wearing your maternity clothes has no bearing on what's going on with your baby. Which I'm sure you know, but it doesn't hurt to hear others reaffirm what we know sometimes. That being the case, it's your thang. Do what you wanna do. I have enough stretchy shirts and sweaters to (hopefully) last me well into my potential pregnancy, so I'm going to milk those for all they're worth.
New reader, by the way. Working on my first pregnancy. Looking forward to reading about your progress, and hello!
Ah, the old "am I going to jinx" fear... My Mom said something amazingly comfortable to me about that fear - "There is no reason to do something that makes you worry, if you can do something else instead." In other words, it isn't silly to be affraid, and it is kinda silly to do something that bothers you when you don't really have to.
You can simply buy a few bigger-sized spring-ish shirts. There is no need to do anything else yet. AND you will possibly need the same shirts next year if you haven't lost all your baby weight by early spring.
Then again, if a Mom-daughter shopping trip sounds like fun, then go for it. We all know that in reality the use of your credit card isn't likely to hurt baby one bit. :)
I say start wearing them now. You've earned that badge of honour...
A
Does it matter if it is "reasonable or indulging my psyche"? If you want to wear them, wear them. I say go for it - and enjoy it.
I grapple with the mat clothes thing, but I look so daft in my regular tops that I've caved. I figure that nobody deserves to see my pregnant belly button oozing it's way out between my too short tee and my open fly'd bella-banded trousers.
I do it for the visual health of the public!
J
I'm with Heather, do what makes you feel best - change your mind, wear Mat. clothes one day, and regular clothes another, and that's fine too.
Praying that you will have long months of wearing nothing but Mat. clothes, and that you are truely and completely sick of them when you have baby #2.
cw
Thanks for visiting my blog. I have no words of advice on the maternity clothes. I have a box stuffed under the bed because last year dh ran out and bought them when we were very early in the pg. My boobs wouldn't fit in regular clothes without looking like Dolly Parton. That didn't turn out so well. Now I am back to the starting point. I will leave the box under the bed for now. As for you, do what your heart says. Several people have mentioned getting a few non maternity tops or alternating between maternity and non maternity. There is no right or wrong answer and only you know what will make you feel comforatble. Good Luck to you as you make the decision.
Early on, I thought I'd be able to get away with regular pants in larger sizes, but that didn't work out at all. The weight really goes disproportionately to your belly and chest. It may be scary at first, but I say try to enjoy the maternity clothes if you can. You've been deprived of too much pg-related pleasure already.
I had a similar experience with our late term loss. I had just bought my first maternity clothes at 24 weeks (I was wearing my husbands jeans and loose fitting dresses) and lost him at 27. I had worn one of the new pair of pants - the two shirts and overalls sat with the tags still on them for over 3 years.
I had mixed emotions pulling them out, but they very quickly came to be about this pregnancy and not the previous one. I say where what feels good.
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