I regret to announce that I have decided to disallow anonymous comments on my blog. The reason this is such a hard decision to make is because the vast majority of my anonymous commenters are wonderful, supportive people. Unfortunately, the minority is often what dictates many of the changes in our world.
This blog is my outlet for venting my feelings at any given time. You may or may not agree with how I feel, and you may choose to add your voice to the conversation. I prefer, however, to be able to associate an identity to that voice. That way, if I disagree with the commenter, I can, in turn, go to his or her blog and explain my viewpoint. Yes, I could also post about it on my own blog, but I don’t like to write posts responding to just one commenter.
A recent anonymous commenter was not cruel in her words, but I felt she didn’t understand what I was trying to say. Because of this, her comment hurt me.
I hate that whenever I see an “Anonymous” in my inbox, I get a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’m never sure if the comment is going to be supportive or if the commenter is using the cover of anonymity to criticize me.
I don’t need that anymore. I’m sorry that all those who don’t have Google accounts can’t comment on my blog anymore, but that’s a sacrifice I have to make.
UPDATE: Thanks for all your support. A couple of you brought up a good point, and one that I thought about only after posting: Some of you don't have blogs, just Google accounts. I would love to have your comments, too! I suppose the real reason why I don't want anonymous posts is because I just don't have the stomach for unsupportive, or even slightly critical, comments (I know, I'm a wimp). I've hardly ever had that problem from anyone other than a few anonymous posters. Some of you may be braver about disagreeing with me than others, but you do it in a way that doesn't upset me; rather, it makes me think.
Some might say, "Hey, you're posting your thoughts on the Internet; you should be ready for whatever comes at you." Well, yes, except that I'm not. It's that simple. :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
20 comments:
I understand completely but remember that not all of us lucky folk get to have comments on our blogs (stupid limitations with iWeb). =(
Do you have the option to make someone put in an email, not that people would put in valid emails. I see that thing that says Email Follow-Up Comments to. I wonder what that does. Anyhoot.
Wordpress has that nice feature which pamala describes right?
I also understand as I recently got a very hurtful comment on my blog from an "annonomous" person. Thankfully this change doesn't effect me. (((((HUGS)))))) for the hurt the other poster made you feel.
I understand , you should protect yourself
The toughest part about blogging is that we put ourselves out there and become totally exposed. It is wrong that some people use it as a way to make someone feel badly...these are our thoughts...good, bad or ugly. Your feelings are just that...your feelings and you shouldn't be judged on that.
:)
I know that same sense of queasiness when someone unknown shows up with commentary. That's why I moderate my blog, too.
Ann, I can cmpletley understand why you would want to know who is saying what to you. Hang in there. Hugs to you.
I think blogger ate my comment, let me try again....It's totally your blog and no need to explain. Drive by commenting is unfair, anyway,
J
Totally understandable, Ann.
I had one very unsupportive commenter at the beginning of my pregnancy (when I was paralysed with fear) who tol me to get over myself. Though I didn't disallow annonymous comments because of that, just calling her on it made her go away.
Sorry that someone made you feel "not understood".
This is your blog. Don't ever feel like you have to explain to us as your readers why you choose to do something. Do what works best for you. Hugs.
I do not blame you! I read you all the time and I would be irked with anonymous too!
blogging also makes for a better community, i think, when people generally have to own and stand behind what they choose to say.
:)
Your other alternative is to go password protected like I did. EVERYONE had to "delurk" to be able to even read my thoughts and emotions. It gives WONDERFUL peace of mind! People don't always comment, but I know they read...and even at that I know exactly who is there!
Totally understand.
I understand your decision. Just to clarify, though: if I have a blogger account but no blog, can I still comment? I set one up mainly for that reason, because I thought anonymous comments were rude. And I comment periodically just so you know I'm reading and not lurking. I'm hoping that's still okay, but if it's not, I respect your decision.
That totally makes sense. And hey it's your blog so you get to make up the rules!
It is completly reasonable to protect yourself from other people's hurtful comments. Theinternet gives us so much power to do things consequence free here that a little protection is needed some times.
Your blog, your rules. End of story.
I have just found your blog and can REALLY identify with you. Our stories are remarkably similar, which is why I am posting (and know fairly well what you are experiencing -- although I recognize not everyone's experience is exactly the same). I have had two losses (one at 17 weeks in July 2006 and one at 19 weeks in March 2007) due to bilateral renal agenesis. I started IVF in February 2008 and just had a positive result (which puts me just over 4 weeks). I am trying really hard to take one day at a time and not to obsess and worry too much, and like you, I'm calm most days, but not all.
If you are ever interested in talking, I would be more than happy to chat (I'm not really comfortable sharing EVERYTHING online).
Can you turn off anonymous posting? Would that way force everyone to declare an indentity?
Post a Comment